Aw Shucks. I’d like to thank my Manager, my Family, my Friends, Charlie Sheen, God, ………..

And the winner is......Social Assassin!! Dude, you're awesome!!

Sometimes, when you get comfortable with the status quo of life (no, not the band!), life will sit up and take notice and decide to throw you a curve ball just to keep you on your toes. Because life is an interfering bitch like that. Sometimes, this curve ball knocks you off your ass and sends you tumbling down the slope of success like you just landed on a snake’s head in a game of Snakes and Ladders. But other times, you see it coming and catch that ball, and dance around the playing field shouting ‘In your FACE, life, in your FACE!!!’ and turning cartwheels of self-congratulating joy. Today is a catch it and boogie kind of day. Many of you will have seen a new blog award doing the rounds recently – The Liebster Blog Award. And I awoke today (slowly, and grumpily) to discover that the wonderful Becky ‘Balls of Steel’ Delport over at ‘I’m Just A Girl…’ had awarded yours truly one of these shiny little awards. There’s even a cute little plaque thingy to go with it – look, here it is!!….

Woo-Hoo!! In your FACE, life!

As is normal, there is a protocol to follow here with regard to passing it on to others who are more deserving nearly as awesome as me. We’ll get to the passing-it-on bit in a second, but first I need to engage my flattery circuits and start up the dry-ice machine ready to blow smoke up someone’s ass, because the first condition of acceptance is to thank the person who nominated you and link back to them. In some cases, this would be solved with a simple single line of type saying ‘thanks!’ and we’d move on. But this is no ordinary blogger I’m thanking, so no ordinary platitude is sufficient.

Many of you who read my blog also read Bex’s, so you’re probably already (overly?) familiar with her, but I’ll assume for the purpose of this award acceptance that you’ve never read her and so introduce her accordingly. Ms. Delport is a giant amongst bloggers. She may not have a million followers or an army of fans but trust me when I say that every word that falls from her lips (keyboard?) is pure beaten gold. She is, in the blink of an eye, cripplingly funny, outrageously disrespectful, deeply thought-provoking, mentally deranged but most notably of all, brutally honest and open in a way that shames many of us. Just recently, Bex has finally begun to put to rest a personal demon that has been haunting her for some time. Not only did she decide that enough was enough, and that she was going to confront and beat this demon head-on, she did so by putting her shame out to the whole world on her blog for all to see, not knowing as she did so whether it might turn away many of her readers in disgust. The woman has balls so huge I’m sure she must look like a Space Hopper. And as was only righteous and just, her readers came back with a single unified voice to tell her that we loved her unequivocably, we didn’t care what she’d done in the past, we all loved her for who she was NOW, and that if anything her bravery and determination in facing her demons had made us love her more than before. And that is, as the mighty Led Zeppelin said, ‘A Whole Lotta Love’. It seems facile of me to say that I feel a deep affinity for someone who I’ve never met, and who I’ve only ever conversed with by blog/email/Twitter/Facebook. Yet such is the force of Becky’s character that I not only feel like we’ve been friends for years, but I seriously hope we will remain friends for life, because genuine souls like hers are a rare currency we seldom get to spend. One day we shall grow old disgracefully together in a nursing home where we shall delight in tripping staff with our Zimmer frames and holding sherry-chugging competitions to decide who gets to use the electric chairlift first. Until then I implore you all to go and read her blog, where in between the side-splitting humour and delightfully sarcastic observation, you’ll find that rare thing that marks out a special blogger – one who has a heart the size of a whale and is not afraid to wear it on her sleeve for us all to see.

[When Bex accepted this award herself, she admitted her German was non-existent, and said she was quite happy to assume it meant she was awesome. Actually Bex, although my German is not much better (we weren’t keen on learning it in 1939, and we’re not now) I’m pretty sure Liebster means ‘loved one’. In which case Bex this will be the most appropriate award you will EVER receive – I love you hard you fruit-loop.]

SSSOOOOOOOOO…….. well-deserved praise and adulation done with (Bex, I’ll assume the cheque is in the mail), let’s move on and share the love with some other bloggers shall we, and see if we can brighten their day as well???

1: A blogger once told me that if Bex and I ever wrote a blog together, the blogging community might just implode with the awesomeness of it all. In so commenting, what she didn’t realise was that she was overlooking just how freaking awesome she was herself. Yes, I’m pointing the finger at YOU, You’ve Got Sars! Drawn in by a catchy blog title, I discovered a blogger who was uncomfortable with opening herself up too much, yet when she did gave a glimpse of a deep and thoughtful person with some insightful and deeply personal things to say. At times snarky and funny and yet equally deep and thoughtful to an almost poetic level, as I trawled back through her blog history I grew to like her style more and more. Plus she has an awesome taste in music which always goes a long way to winning me over. Kindly trot on over there today and show her some loving.

2. My second nomination is a bitter-sweet one, since it goes to a blogger who has sadly had to leave us very recently. Margarita of Poverty and Death has recently moved into a new employment field which doesn’t gel well with her forthright no-holds-barred style of writing, so she’s had to hang up her blogging pen and go underground. Which is a crying shame, because since day one her stories of life in the Ghetto have amused me no end, as well as confirming that the America portrayed on my UK television (crack houses on every street, gangster rappers pistol-whipping each other and baby-mommas brawling outside the food market) are actually real life for some people. So although this is about as useful as a medal to a dead soldier, in a similar way I honour her contributions to the blogosphere posthumously.

3. As with real life, in the blog community as one door closes another opens. So as we mourn the passing of Margarita, let us also praise the return of Roy. Mr RADventures himself, Roy was one of the first bloggers I interacted with in a big way, and whilst he himself has been on a long hiatus, just days ago he made his long-awaited return to us with a great post about an uncomfortable anal insertion. It’s the way you tell ’em Roy. I urge any of you not familiar with Roy to go and check out his back catalogue ready for a new wave of crazy coming soon, and in the meantime award him this to let him know that although we missed him, we never stopped loving him (in a creepy, stalkerish kind of way). 🙂

4: Our second Antipodean recipient of today’s little love-fest is Feryx, of Absolute Eloquence and Sh*t. Feryx was a much later discovery for me than some of the bloggers I follow, but I like her quirky style and am a big fan of her section where she conducts interviews with other bloggers. (Her decision to interview me has no bearing on this – honest. No, really. Not buying it??? No, me either.) Regardless of my motivations, if you want to discover what a chipmunk with diabetes, a goat with 3 legs but 1 of the 3 legs has no hoof and a titmouse with an eating disorder have to do with any of this, you have no choice but to go and visit her and check out her marvelous little blog today.

5. Lastly, I would like to nominate a blog which I read religiously, but have never commented on. Unlike most of my circle of blogging friends, there is no silly humour or sarcastic observation of modern life to be found in The Selvedge Yard, but since I have a deep love of all things cool and retro, especially with relation to bikes, music and legends of the silver screen, then this blog is like literary crack to me. Without my regular Selvedge fix I become cranky and lash out at people until someone shows me pretty pictures of old motorbikes, or James Dean, or other memorabilia to calm me down. They were one of the first additions to my blogroll, and based purely on the fact that I love this blog, they deserve to receive a Liebster award.

Just like Bex, I’m not going to bother with notifying my nominees of their newfound award – it just sounds to me like I’m looking for a pat on the back from them for giving them something they’re fully entitled to. So I urge you all instead to go forth from here and read their stuff, comment on it, and spread the love I feel for them all forward, in one big happy wave of Blog-love. Just remember to wear a Blog-dom. And if by chance you notice that there are many blogs I read who didn’t get one of these, it’s either because I already awarded them something else, some when else, or that they already have several of these, or that I just forgot them, or that my brain was accidentally replaced with a used tea-bag, or…… well, I can’t keep all the people happy all the time. But you’re all amazing, and I wish I could. Until next time, my little Leibster’s, thanks for continuing to swing by and humour me…..

The Assassin.


8 comments on “Aw Shucks. I’d like to thank my Manager, my Family, my Friends, Charlie Sheen, God, ………..

  1. I lieb you too man, I lieb you too *arms thrown around shoulders in effort to show masculine appreciation* Thank you for the award 😀 this has made my day and my day has just started WOO HOO!! YAY! 😀


    • That’s what it’s all about though, isn’t it?? Passing the love around and reminding each other that there are people out there who appreciate and vindicate what we do every time we blog. Glad to send a little of that ‘Lieb’ your way!! And thanks for throwing your arm around my shoulders – but who’s holding your stepladder? 😉


  2. I’d like to thank my manager Dante, my producer angry Dane, and my stylist Darcisist… Without these fine, fine individuals I’d have no one to mention arbitrarily. But mostly, Assassin… thank you…. for putting me in your crosshairs but not shooting my shit out of the water. I shall pay you in kind with compliments abounding..

    You like me! You really like me!!!


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